how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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