Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize