Having a random hookup so left but love u
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
