This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
