Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i drank out of a bidet.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
