I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
