So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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