My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
