i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Say something about gay babies.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
