Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
