Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
