32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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