Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
