If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
