just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is wine microwaveable?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
