R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
