Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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