I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
