I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
