i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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