Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my poor anus
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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