Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
