dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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