Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize