Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
