You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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