people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
