my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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