My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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