You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She's the barista slut.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
