we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
