this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
