I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
