i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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