what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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