Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
