either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
