I'm going to jail i love you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
