Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
