It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
