its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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