And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
