I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
