I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
