I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
