How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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