I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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