Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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