nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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