I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
