So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize